Be kind about the nevers

(no, not the TV show)

💻 what I'm up to 💻
Once I published a couple of nonfiction books, I would often get asked this question during interviews: have you thought about writing fiction?

My answer to those interviewers and even a friend who brought it up once was nope, I don’t have any interest in writing fiction. I probably used the word never more than once. And let me tell you, when you say the word “never,” some people will remember it and call you out on it as if you’ve intentionally told some grand lie instead of treating it like, oh you’ve grown or broadened your horizons and changed your mind.

An example. Circa 2015, I was going on several years of attending San Diego Comic-Con as a freelance writer. Being freelance meant I said yes to as many assignments as possible because more assignments meant more money. I was rushing from panel to panel, to an interview at the Bayfront, back to the convention center, to a hotel to meet a publicist for a panel ticket, and then I had to find steady wifi to file my stories–for four days straight. It was exhausting. I got hella burned out. So at some point during or after SDCC in 2015 I declared, “I am never doing Comic-Con again. Never.”

Then I went back in 2018 for myself to promote Women of the Galaxy. And guess what? When you don’t cover panels and do interviews for 8+ hours a day, it can be fun. I was there for two days and had an excellent time. Then a friend threw at me, and not in a teasing way, “But you said you were never going to do Comic-Con again.”

Yes, there are situations in which you should remind your friends of vows they made. Is attending a convention one of those situations? Nah, dude. If you’re the person tallying someone’s “nevers” in order to throw them back in their face, maybe work on that.

Because of moments like that, I’m waiting for someone to bring up, “But you said you never wanted to write fiction.” Maybe they’ll ask in a curious way rather than an accusatory tone. I get that. But maybe we can just generally accept that people grow and learn and can change their damn minds and frame it as asking about what changed their minds.

So, be kind–to yourself and to others–about the nevers.

📘 my book things 📘
Here’s what I have going on right now:

• The last little bits of the official MCU timeline book

• My theme park romcom is out on proposal (please keep things crossed for me)

• I’m about 24,000 words into my very bad zero draft of my middle grade fantasy (a national park but for mythical creatures!)

• I’m developing an adult cozy backpack fantasy that I’m stoked about (think Devil Wears Prada meets Anthony Bourdain Parts Unknown)

Scheduling my writing and writing two hours a morning for at least four days a week continues to make a huge difference in my productivity and general attitude towards writing. 

📺 what I'm watching 📺

Shrinking
Is Shrinking the best show ever? Probably not. Does it make me happy to see Harrison Ford in a fun role where he’s grumpy but also kind and also does things like sing along to Sugar Ray’s “Every Morning?” It sure does. This series is sweet–it comes from the folks who make Ted Lasso, so if you like that type of wholesomeness, you’ll probably like Shrinking. It’s about a guy (played wonderfully by Jason Segel, who I’ll always have warm feelings towards because of his warm feelings about the Muppets) who is a shrink who lost his wife and handled it in a way that has alienated his daughter a bit. Harrison Ford’s character is his mentor. Again, worth it for the Harrison Ford of it all.

Star Trek: Picard
If you read “Picard” and immediately thought about your mixed feelings in regards to the show’s first two seasons, just stop. I hear you, I do. But season 3, the final season? It is excellent. So many faces from The Next Generation are back and I’m a TNG kid so it’s like hanging out with old friends. I’ve seen six episodes and the story is engaging, the nostalgia is flowing… give it a shot.

📚 what I'm reading 📚
Begin Again by Emma Lord
This YA romance is sweet and comes with a big ol' side of finding your path and claiming it in a way that's relatable regardless of your age. Andie Rose transfers from community college to the state college tied to her family's history and she deals with all the usual college things but also a legendary pirate radio station where she starts to find her voice. I adored it.

Salt and Sugar by Rebecca Carvalho
This book charmed me. Two rival family bakeries (called Salt and Sugar) are at the heart of the story and the grandchildren from each family are drawn together despite the long-running family feud. It's about grief, forgiveness, advocating for yourself, and love. And so, so much food. Warning: this one will make you hungry.

📃 quote of the month 📃
“Anything worth doing starts with a mess.” Emma Lord, Begin Again
The way I have thought about this quote while drafting…

I hope you’re well! Reply or comment and let me know how you’re doing, what you’re reading, or what your favorite thing about Dreamlight Valley is. Feel free to tell me about your nevers!